Surgery

Ugh.  The last few months have been a challenge for me health-wise, but the last 5 days, it all came to a head.  I haven't slept since Thursday night, as the pain in my stomach has been so great.  I can't lay down, and if I have any chance of catching a wink, I am sitting up to sleep.  It's a bummer.

I have had a known Crohn's ulcer in my stomach for five years that continues to get worse.  In fact, when I went to Mayo Clinic last year, I was told that I had the most severe form of Crohns because it IS in my stomach.  I can't remove my stomach...My disease is all proximal which means my colon is beautifully healthy. (Blessing #1)  My problems arise when I eat because if my stomach is swollen shut, my food can't go down.  It is excrutiatingly painful and so frustrating to have to worry about my health and be a mom and wife and business owner...all three are my favorite things to be!

Yesterday morning, I finally couldn't take the pain anymore and took myself to the ER.  We are so blessed that in this time, my husband is between jobs and is home for four more weeks before his new job starts.  (Blessing #2) Thru tests, we discovered what I already knew...my stomach is completely obstructed and the ulcer I have is very ugly, large, and bleeding.  I count it as Blessing #3 that my ER doctor, whom I didn't know, turns out to have a daughter in my son's kindergarten class.  My neighbor is also and ER doctor at that hospital and called ahead to tell him about me  (hopefully good things :) and not that I am his looney neighbor).  Because of this relationship, he offered that I get to go home from the hospital if I felt comfortable and if I went straight to see my GI doctor.  Of course, I wanted to get the heck out of here and home to my family.  I did, indeed, go to my GI doctor and stated the obvious:  It is time for surgery.  I have put it off and put it off and I, too, albeit an awful time, am ready to get rid of the ulcer and give my weary stomach some relief.  It is the reason I have needed multiple blood transfusions, regular iron transfusions and probably my latest weekly B-12 shots.  It is also the source of an enormous amount of pain that often leaves me breathless and useless for hours at a time.  It sucks to tell you the truth.

All that said, I still firmly believe that God is in control and we works all things together for good.  The amount of people who have come to me to talk about their bowels are many and I know that I have grown immensely as I pray desperately for healing.  We all have hardships, we all struggle in many ways...this just happens to be my struggle and I choose to accept it and hopefully use it to help others and build my trust in the Lord.

My mom flew down yesterday the minute they knew I was taking myself to the hospital (Blessing #4).  I absolutely hate that my family and my husbands family put their lives on hold so often all because of me and my poor health.  I am so grateful to them, but hate so much being a burden to those around me. We have already had so many friends rally around us and support us with offers of dinners and help with the kids.  I cry as I type at how blessed I feel and how lucky I am to have such amazing friends who love us and want to help us.  (Blessing #5)  It is really beyond words...

I, unfortunately, have had to temporarily close my business, Tippie Toads, which makes me really sad. But I am hoping that my wonderful fans and customers will stick with me through these hard times and greet me on the other HEALTHIER side :)  So, I leave you with getting all my ducks in a row.  Making eternal lists for Babe (my hubs) so he can attempt to operate smoothly with 3 boys...homework,  library books due, allergy shots, carpool.  The list of all the unspoken things that moms do on a daily basis.

We have so much love and support and we are so grateful.  I will attempt to keep this blog posted on the road to healing and recovery!