I Used to Cry...A LOT!

Oh brother!  Where do I begin?  I guess it really started when I went in for emergency surgery for the first time when I was 25 years-old. (14 years ago if you must know my age:)) Between finding out on a Friday I was having massive abdominal surgery to having surgery on Monday, friends, family friends, friends of friends and perfect strangers came out of the wood work. I received emails and phone calls from people I hadn't spoken to in years.  I remember sitting down and just bawling because I realized how many people cared...about me?  I was so overwhelmed with love I couldn't control my emotions.  I was in the middle of the worst time in my life {to date} feeling very vulnerable and never felt more loved.  It was really an overwhelming feeling and it happened all over again 18 months later with my second major abdominal surgery.

In October of 2012, when I landed in the hospital in emergency, I had a family.  I had 3 children and a husband that were my responsibility.  I had a different feeling of panic.  I worried not only for my health, but for my family's daily needs and my family's need to have a Mother and a Wife to LIVE and to SURVIVE this mess.  So many people were in the equation now. My parents were 9 hours away and our "help" wasn't just down the road.  My entire family needed prayer.  Unbelievable friends just wrapped their arms around our family and organized meals {for those who were allowed to eat!}, they took my kids to play, they put me, once again, on prayers lists all over town in MANY towns.  They supported my parents, my in-laws, my husband and my kids and, of course, me!  I cried daily in humility.  But the feeling in my heart was so overwhelming, I could not put to words how grateful I was for these amazing people in my life (many I didn't even know 7 years ago).  They took on my job as mom to 3 boys (big job!) without asking, they crawled in bed with me and chit chatted when I was awake and able to talk.  It was so hard to fathom that so many people took time out of their busy schedule to care of me and my family.  It just seemed that with this sucky bit of health I have that I was always a burden to those around me.  I really...REALLY...hate that.  I am too tired, in too much pain, or too sick.  Unfortunately, that was too many times to count.

NOW....I have a new perspective.  New knowledge and new health!  I am, yet again, so humbled by the precious emails I have received lately as I have shared my healing.  People have emailed me from every stage of my life, many with health needs of their own.  Some that just want to be healthy naturally.  THIS is humbling.  And guess what?  It makes me cry!  I don't mind putting my health out there, let alone all the gory details.  I really don't.  For almost 15 years, I have been prayed for by people I didn't even know existed.  I knew that God would bring His glory out of this mess.  I just had to be patient.  Fifteen years, I was {sorta} patient and I am fully convinced my prayers are being answered.  It was not in my timing, but God's.  I am healing.  I am healing A LOT. Praise the Lord!  But in the process of my healing, I am able to share my story with so many people around me.  I so desperately and passionately want to help people.  I want to share what I have learned over the last 15 years.  I want to share mistakes, knowledge, ideas.  I want to share my change in diet, the ways I help myself out of pain, the ways I am preventing illness with me and my family.  I WANT TO HELP.  

I never want anyone to think they are bothering me or afraid to ask a gross question.  NOTHING grosses me out or embarrasses me.  I am doing this because I love it.  But I LOVE doing it because it is my opportunity to give back.  I want to return all the prayers and health and tips and knowledge one hundred fold.  I want everyone to know how grateful I am and want to do anything to use my "Intestine-mony" to prevent future problems for anyone who will listen:)

And now....I am crying.  I am just so grateful.