I felt like I was in great hands with Dr. Clouse. He always had students with him, which is where I first began to lose my modesty. "Penny, this is so-and-so and he needs to perform his first ever in his life rectal exam. Are you OK with that?" That's not really how it went, but I was a student at the time, myself, and appreciated understanding patients, so I tried to be understanding every time student wanted to do their case study on me. They wanted to know details about my bowels that I just wasn't used to taking note of, let alone discussing. But this is the life when you have a disease of the bowel. Every doctor always wants to know the scoop on your poop. Size, shape, consistency, frequency. Even Dr. Oz will tell you how much your poop tells about you. It really is true. Fortunately, or unfortunately, I learned all this early on. And I had to tell it over and again to all those students...and some of them were cute!
Dr. Clouse, however, ordered a very unusual test on me. It was a test that I now know and understand to be a test for Zollinger-Ellison Syndrome, where your body over-produces acid in your stomach causing ulcers. Even more "coincidence" (which I don't believe anything is coincidental) is that after I had my first big abdominal surgery, I left my job as an OT and became a drug rep, selling Prevacid, that treats many issues, but one being Zollinger-Ellison Syndrome.
My faithful mom, who flew to St. Louis for every single procedure I had, flew up for this one. In fact, I tried to tell her not to come because I didn't have to go under. I am so glad she insisted on coming. In order to test the acide levels in your stomach, they stick an NG tube up your nose and feed it to your stomach. They gave me shots to make my stomach think it was eating and measured the acid production in my stomach. That sounded so easy, but if they could have just gotten that darn (there are more choice words to use) tube up my nose. The nurse was a bit nervous, which made me nervous, too. She asked me to sit on the edge of the table and came at my nose with a tube. I still can't believe they attempted that with me awake. Needless to say, after far too many attempts, it didn't work. It hurt, I vomited, I choked and gagged. I remember looking at my mom, who had tears in her eyes herself, and telling her I would rather be giving birth. Mind you, I was 21 and had no clue what I was saying. After having 3 kids and 3 epidurals, I still stand by that statement.
They eventually paged Dr. Clouse to come do the job. When he discovered the strength of my gag reflex, he gave me some good stuff to put me under and finished the procedure himself. I was never so happy to see him and never so happy to get out of that place! I was so happy my mom was there to have pity on me and take care of my bruised spirit (and nose). I am certain we had a great meal that night!
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