October 9th

{Re-posted from my Family Blog}

October 9th   is how it should read.  So sorry to those of you who think October 9th is special.  It was a rough day here.  I went downstairs thinking I would have a quick 30 minute scope so the doctors could see what they were working with.  As it turned out, I went out right before 11am and woke up at 4pm vomiting blood.  (Sorry!)  It was a scary moment for me, as I was woozy, but knew I had been out for much longer than anticipated and I have never thrown up blood before.  They put me completely under via intubation tube because they needed to put a large tube inside of tube down my throat...a total of 3 tubes with the intubation.  They anticipated the need to remove the food that was stuck in my stomach and needed to do that without my aspirating into my lungs.  Thus, the tube inside of a tube.  They said that took a majority of their time.  They were also trying to place an NG tube below my stomach for nutrition, but every time they attempted to remove the scope, it removed the NG tube, thus "traumatizing" as they so perfectly described my throat and nose...causing part of the bleeding.  They also dilated 3 different parts of my stomach and small intestine that appeared to be restricted/ completely occluded.  That is a temporary fix until the steroids kick in.  And the steroids are a temporary fix until I start my meds next week. I woke up in an incredible amount of pain...in my hips.  I was in a bad position for 5 hours and am still limping today.  No one seems to care about that part...

We concluded that it was time to take the drugs...the drugs that I originally had a great amount of fear for.  I still have fear of the side effects, but there is as much or greater risk in surgery and removing more parts of my stomach and still not solving the problem.  I am BEYOND thrilled to not be having surgery.  I am still fragile, still on paid meds and will be on steroids until I start my new, lifetime Crohn's medication.  But, I get to go home and snuggle with my 4 boys.

I have been covered in prayer from the beginning of this and never thought that God's answer would be NO surgery.  To have full abdominal surgery (which I have had twice before) is miserable to say the least, especially when your body is so sick.  The recovery is long and very painful and still brings me to tears at the thought of going through that again AND with kids and a husband.  I am still a bit in awe that I  won't miss the things I was disappointed to miss, but also well-aware that I still need to stay on the down low until I get all my drugs working and hopefully back to optimum health.

Again, in AWE of God's ability to take care of me...one single child of God.  And certainly stand before all of my friends in the greatest of appreciation for all you have done for Babe and my kids and for every sweet message and prayer that you said for me.  I could say it a million times, but even the smallest of words is SO encouraging when you are in the trenches and I have saved every one of them!

SO....I am going home today!  It seems a bit to believe, as I am still getting TPN and I still have a central line to remove, but they said I can go home...carefully.  The care I have received here has been stellar.  From the kindness of the nurses to the attentiveness of the doctors...all the doctors, residents, and med students involved in my care.  Even the wonderful surgeon who ultimately worked himself out of a job.  I am SO grateful for his desire to exhaust all possibilities.

First stop...a SHOWER!!