...but who is?
It has been approximately 4 1/2 months that I have been taking my Humira shots. I think I mentioned earlier that they wanted to put me on 2 forms of treatment: a pill and the shots. The pill is supposed to be used supplementally, but I, of course, wanted to see how the shots worked alone. First and foremost, I didn't want to take more medicine than I needed. The pills further suppress my immune system and place further risk of side effects. I also loved the idea of not needing to take a pill every day. If I could count the numbers of pills I have ingested since I first started having problems...ugh. I am so over pills! I already have to take daily thyroid pills and B-12 shots...I just wanted something to be easy.
I feel amazing. I feel amazing because I can eat without vomiting. I can eat without excruciating pain. To be able to go to dinner with friends or go to a party and be able to have a bite of what they are serving, all of that will never be taken for granted again. Of course, I have put on some pounds because I can eat again. However, for the first time in my life, I need to lose weight and I don't care. I am just thrilled to be alive without chronic pain. I have had many issues with my Crohn's, including 2 very painful recoveries after 2 reconstructive surgeries of my stomach. I cried buckets imagining another surgery like those. To put the pain in perspective, those surgeries didn't come close to the pain I felt in October and November. Either I let it go too long, I have been sick too many years....I don't know what, but while I was in bed {and there were lots of hours in bed} I dreamed of a Heavenly body. The pain was never ceasing, as the pain meds, no matter how much they increased my dose, never covered my pain. That kind of pain affects you...and your sanity!
So...compared to all that, I am golden!
To those who have Crohn's or GI issues...I am not, by any means, 100%. For some people it is corn products, or wheat products, for me it is sugar. I still get bloated if I eat a bowl of ice cream, or drink any kind of drink with sugar in it {lemonade, to Gatorade to Cokes...all of them}. I still have reflux. This worries me just a little, as I fear that there are more permanent strictures that remain that can only be removed with surgery. However, surgery is even more of last resort now that I am on an immunosuppressant. I still have heartburn....ooh, heartburn. For some, they might be making an appointment with the GI for these things, but for me, I have a different perspective. My only conservative option at this point would be to start taking that immunosuppressant pill and I just don't want to if I can manage without it.
What I DO know and when I decide to put my big girl panties on to do it, is that eating clean is life changing even without medication. I can't imagine how I will feel while medicated. I want to enjoy the freedom to eat food just a little longer before I start restricting myself again.
My energy and endurance has returned much slower than I thought. However, being in bed for 2 months does take its toll. I have been biking the boys to school 2 1/2 days a week since November and just last week started to run a mile every day. WOWSA! I already feel better. Being so sedentary for so long is draining on your body and your spirit. Dare I say it here that anyone may hold me accountable, but in October, I would like to run the Ten for Texas, which is 10 miles. A month later is a half marathon close by that I would LOVE to run if I can make the 10...whats 3 more?
My running friends are starting to train in August for the Ten for Texas. So, my goal is to be running 5 miles with ease by August. Then, I could certainly tack on five more over 2 months at that point? Woohoo! Here's to a BIG goal!
